Today is the start of my 3rd week of taking care of myself. My first 2 weeks were consumed with a long list of to do's. My LIST was how I always operated but that LIST continued to grow and began to devour this precious time I need to regain health and inner strength. I have decided that the LIST must go...and I am submitting myself instead to a less formal daily routine that includes a good dose of exercise, meal preparation (I've gone Paleo), mediation (really just quiet time with my own thoughts) and much needed rest/sleep.
This new routine is not an easy one for me to embrace. I am used to producing, solving numerous problems, managing projects, working through lunch and needed bathroom breaks and, in general, I don't feel that I've done a good job until I fall into bed exhausted at the end of the day with cross-outs on my LIST. The LIST days are gone and I am undergoing what I call "reprogramming" to ensure I don't completely burn out and leave my family & friends high and dry.
Part of what I have realized is I have not experienced true joy for a very long time. I have an incredible family, full of funny, sensitive, sometimes annoying but always loving and supportive people. I should be taking joy in their accomplishments, laughing with them much more and in general sharing the love they share with me. I get so caught up in the LIST, that I forget the reason behind the LIST and start moving through things just to get them done.
So, I vowed to start enjoying things more each day...and fortunately our local LYS Tour (Local Yarn Shop Tour) was celebrating 10 years this past week. I visited some new and some favorite shops over 3 days and truly enjoyed being immersed in these creative environments with other creative folks. I took long drives in the country, a ferry boat to an island and in general disconnected for a several hours each day. I really needed this to get my mind off the LIST. Here's a shot of all that was acquired and while it seems like a lot, each item represents time I spent with my creative thoughts about what these would eventually become. I can't wait to get started!
Exercise has always been elusive, but under Dr's orders (and because I know I need it) I am working it in every day by walking my youngest to and from school as much as possible. I am finding that he's a keen observer of all things. Questions come up that spark conversations I would never have had and that keep me smiling all day long. He let me know today that there are always earthquakes happening but we are just not sensitive enough to feel them all - could he have been channeling my own struggle or did he just see this on a PBS Kids episode? I don't know, but it sure did resonate with me. He also knows that you can't have a huddle on the baseball mound with more than 3 players (I didn't know this, did you?) Earthquakes and obscure baseball rules...I can't wait to see what comes up on our walk home from school. We may take a slightly longer route...
My bigger challenge is connecting with my teenager...I haven't figured that one out yet. So far I am pretty sure that I need to learn a new language called "texting" because that seems to be the only way I can talk with him. I'm pretty sure that it's a language where brevity is king. Why type "OK" when "k" will do? Sometimes I get a "Ya" in response to a question and then I feel like we've really connected.
The longest text so far is the one I got last week letting me know he hit his head in the school yard and would I come get him because he didn't feel so good. That one was ACTUAL full WORDS! If I hadn't been so frantic about his hitting his head I would have realized he was fine because he was able to type coherent sentences!
I am off to get some provisions for tonight's meal from this book:
Thanks to the awesome staff at my LYS who recommended this to me when I mentioned I am going paleo and having a tough time missing my pasta and bread...We'll see what can be done with cauliflower as a rice substitute...
I'll leave you with these shots from some of my favorite shops and wish you happy knitting and days of joy:
Tolt Yarn and Wool, Carnation, WA
Churchmouse Yarns and Tea, Bainbridge Island, WA
Acorn Street Yarns, The Fiber Gallery and Bad Woman Yarn, Seattle, WA